Despite a slight hiccup in the plan last night, the Winnipeg Jets are hoping to get back on track and lose every game from now until whenever Connor Hellebuyck comes back. “I’m really disappointed in ...

McGill University has freed up more than $6 billion in budget space after cutting the beloved but expensive crokinole team. “Players kept flicking the pieces all over the place and losing them,” said ...

Area farmer Keith Thiessen, 61, has just purchased more than a thousand acres of land near Morden, Manitoba, which he intends to seed with aura this spring. “Everyone else is doing corn or canola, so ...

It was total mayhem at Second Altona Mennonite Church this week after Pastor Susan called for Hymn 67. “I should have waited until the kids were dismissed for Children’s Church,” said Susan. “As soon ...

The grounds crew had to work overtime to clean up all the knackzoat this week after Winkler man Tristan Peters made his Major League debut. “Half of Winkler was there, raining their sunflower shells ...

It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is what ...

So, recently I used the word Schekjbenjel and I was shocked to discover there were more than a few readers who were unfamiliar with this term! So, I have decided to make a glossary of frequently used ...

After half the men in the congregation showed up in shorts this past Sunday, Pastor Carl is now enforcing the church’s long standing no shorts rule. “It’s been on the books for decades, but this is ...

Liberal leader Mark Carney has significantly hurt his chances in La Crete, Winkler, Aylmer this week after dropping out of the Plautdietsch leadership debate. “Meanwhile, I’ve been brushing up on my ...

Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized ...

Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks like a harlot out ...

After a series of highly popular rule changes this week, the Canadian Football League has unveiled a brand new logo modelled after Cracker Barrel. “We know how well that worked for them,” said league ...