Despite a slight hiccup in the plan last night, the Winnipeg Jets are hoping to get back on track and lose every game from now until whenever Connor Hellebuyck comes back. “I’m really disappointed in ...

McGill University has freed up more than $6 billion in budget space after cutting the beloved but expensive crokinole team. “Players kept flicking the pieces all over the place and losing them,” said ...

Area farmer Keith Thiessen, 61, has just purchased more than a thousand acres of land near Morden, Manitoba, which he intends to seed with aura this spring. “Everyone else is doing corn or canola, so ...

It was total mayhem at Second Altona Mennonite Church this week after Pastor Susan called for Hymn 67. “I should have waited until the kids were dismissed for Children’s Church,” said Susan. “As soon ...

Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks like a harlot out ...

Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member feels ...

Area man Timothy Berg, 70, has been called before the elder board to “explain his actions” after word got out that he’s just been put on the waiting list for a hip replacement. “I hear they might have ...

Dating couple Amanda and Kevin of Landmark drove into the city this weekend to sit in their car with the windows rolled down on Lagimodiere. “I knew this was a great first date stop,” said Kevin.

Area man Matthew Klippenstein, 37, has just posted an ad in the local paper looking for a sturdy young woman who hasn’t dyed her hair, pierced her ears, or grown unaccustomed to a bit of yard work. “I ...

It seems even President Trump can’t stake awake during one of Pastor Dave’s long meandering sermons. “I’m shocked. I thought for sure he had the stamina to withstand a 2-hour-long boring exposition of ...

The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including raisin buns, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o salads and ...

Area man Myles Fehr, 71, is begrudgingly hosting a Grey Cup party this afternoon and has forbidden any of his guests from cheering for anyone. “I hope they both lose,” said Fehr. “If it could end in a ...